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Friday, 30 September 2016



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These 10 Habits Mean You’re a Likable Person

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It is easy for people to convince themselves that they don’t need to be likable. The difficult truth is even the biggest introvert needs to be liked by at least one person otherwise, it’s a really lonely world out there. If you find yourself not being included in work lunches or Friday evening plans, you may want to do some things that you probably already do more often and with a conscious thought process to make yourself more likable. There are certain habits that people who are likable often have.
In our day to day lives usually we see the same people everyday. There are people we like to be around and others we generally would rather avoid or not see at all. You see them coming towards you and you immediately start coming up with ways to avoid having a conversation with them. On the flip side, there are people you can’t wait to see on a Monday morning to share details of your weekend because they are just nice people to be around. These people have really good social skills and they tend to be very likable.
Some of the habits noted below are things you may have noticed about people who are likable. They are habits that you may already have but need to do more often.

1. You are not a know-it-all.

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You don’t jump into conversations and act like you know everything. You listen to other people and you ask appropriate questions. You tend to make people feel good about themselves. People find themselves gravitating to you for advice or just small talk.

2. You mind your own business.

You aren’t a snob but you generally don’t give your input where it is not needed. It is quite annoying when you have a person in the office who eavesdrop on conversations and provides their opinions when they aren’t invited to do so. You know when you are needed and when it is a good idea to keep a low profile.

3. You don’t hold grudges.

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You let things go especially when the argument is inconsequential. You have learned over time to be the bigger person which makes you win people’s admiration. People like you because they have a clean slate with you. You are not a pushover because you let people know what they have crossed the line but you also don’t hold it against them in the long run.

4. You are patient.

You give people opportunities, room to grow, and space to inherently make mistakes. You know that everything in life has a learning curve and you give people around you a chance to grow into themselves. This makes you more likable because people can trust you. You are often the person people come to for help around the office if something isn’t working.

5. You give compliments.

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You notice things about people which means you are not self centered. Often people see you and they smile genuinely because they are happy to see you. People subconsciously remember you said something nice about them which makes you more likable.

6. You notice the good things about people.

Sometimes, it is difficult to work with people who have different personalities especially when they are so different from our own. You are able to see the good in people and focus more on it than on the bad which has opened many opportunities for you because you are likable. You are able to capitalize on the good things and people feel appreciated around you.

7. You don’t jump into conclusions.

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There is nothing more annoying than someone who doesn’t know all the facts forming an inappropriate or unfair conclusion. You take in the details and weigh all the facts. That way you don’t come of as unfair or biased. People respect you and like you more because you take time to analyze issues before making premature conclusions.

8. You are genuine.

It is becoming harder to meet genuine people these days which makes you more likable. You are not phony and you also don’t entertain fake people. You give constructive criticism and people often come to you when they have an issue they need to resolve because they know you genuinely care about them. Once you have built a reputation for being genuine, anything you say or do for them comes from a good place. When people need your help they know they can count on you to provide adequate support without taking all the credit.

9. You are generous.

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You are not stingy with good things. If you find a discount or deal, you share it with the people around you. You are the type of person who brings snacks from the places you have been on vacation to the office. If there is something you can do to help someone you find a way to extend yourself which makes people like you. You help when needed without being overbearing.

10. You are a confidant.

You can be relied on to keep people’s secrets. You do not betray confidences and people trust you. You know how sensitive information can be and you are keen to ensure that you don’t let the people that trust you down.

7 Skills You Should Learn Before You Turn 50

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Your ability to acquire skills will determine your value in the market and the level of impact you can have in the world.
While learning any skill can be useful, some skills are more valuable than others. When it comes to deciding which skill to learn, you should focus on skills that are transferrable. For example, you could learn how to knit, but there’s not too many ways you can transfer that skill into more areas of your life. However, if you were to learn how to speak Spanish, this skill can help you improve your communication skills, career opportunities, and the ability to speak with people you never could have before.
Here are 7 skills you should learn before you turn 50.

1. Negotiating

Negotiating is one of the most important skills you can learn, and a skill you can apply in every aspect of your life. Whether you want to grow your business, make more money, or have more control over your life, learning to negotiate effectively can help you get there.
Developing your negotiation skills can also help you develop empathy, listening, and sales skills. The question is, how do you start developing negotiation skills?
Where to learn: The best way to start negotiating is to start small. While reading books can help you, you don’t want to get stuck in “learning mode.” Instead, embrace the “learn as you go” mode. You could literally practice negotiating anywhere, from your local flea market to a street vendor, where negotiating is more acceptable.

2. Playing an Instrument

Learning to play an instrument can not only impress your friends (or your date), but it can help improve your cognitive skills. Playing an instrument has been shown to increase your concentration skills, which is an increasingly important skill in the distracting world we live in.
If you’re new to the music industry, you can check out this article to know which instrument you should play.
Where to learn: You can find a local teacher that can meet up with you in-person on craigslist or Kijiji, and have them come to you. Or if you’re a busy person, you can check out this list of websites to learn different instruments online.

3. Public Speaking

Public speaking, according to Warren Buffett, is one of the most important skills you can learn to advance your career.
Being able to communicate effectively can positively impact nearly everything you do in your life, from your career, relationships, business — the list goes on. Not everyone is born a great communicator, and it’s a skill that can be learned and developed by anyone who’s committed.
Where to learn: Join a local Toastmasters organization in your city and you can start to practice your speaking skills and receive constructive and immediate feedback from a supportive community.

4. Personal Finance

This one is quite underestimated by most people, especially recent college graduates. No, it’s not a sexy topic to learn, but none of the dreams and goals you have will come true if you don’t master this skill.
Being able to manage your own finances is the first step to achieving freedom. Instead of ignoring the issue, we have to confront our fears or ignorance and take control of our budget.
Where to learn: This is one topic where being educated is a great place to start. You can read books on personal finance, check out personal finance bloggers, and even go see your personal accountant.

5. Speed Reading

Bill Gates has shared that if he had one superpower, it would be the ability to read faster.
Time is the most important and limited commodity that we have. Learning how to read faster can save you dozens of hours per year, even hundreds if you’re an avid reader.
Where to Learn: You can take a free speed reading course online, or you can use technology such as Spritz to increase your speed.

6. Networking

If you want more success, then you must surround yourself with people that have achieved what you want to achieve. This could be a mentor, coach, or advisor that can guide you to where you want to go and even see blind spots that you may miss.
In order to become a better networker, especially with high-profiled individuals, then you need to learn how to bring value first. The rule of thumb is the bigger the person you’re targeting, the more value you need to deliver upfront before asking for anything.
Where to learn: The best way to learn how to network is to watch how other successful people network. In order to do this, you need to attend industry conferences, networking events, and get in front of these people in-person.

7. A New Language

As the world becomes more globalized, we’re quickly entering a multilingual era. Twenty years ago, you could get away with knowing just one language. But today, with businesses going global, traveling becoming more affordable, and countries becoming more multicultural, it’s not enough to know just English.
Learning a new language can help improve your career, grow your business (especially if you’re targeting non-English speakers), and even build your confidence. If you’ve lived your entire life speaking only one language, then learning a popular language like French, Mandarin, or Spanish can open you up to a world of over 500 million or even a billion people.
If you’re not sure which language to learn, here’s an article on the easiest language to learn and the most useful languages to learn.
Where to learn: You can take advantage of websites like Rype, which is built for busy professionals, offering unlimited one-on-one Spanish lessons online, anytime of the day, any day of the week. Or, if you want to dip your feet into the pool, start off with free mobile apps like Duolingo to get started.
Which of these skills have you yet to learn? How will you learn these skills? We’d love to hear from you below.
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7 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do

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The restaurant manager who speaks with poise and grace to the patron complaining loudly about the wait service. The levelheaded friend you call in your greatest times of need. The compassionate but composed rescue worker who aids victims after a natural catastrophe. The partner who angers rarely, forgives easily, and assumes accountability for their actions. The successful CEO who balances her profession, her family responsibilities, and her personal hobbies with equal measures of calm and confidence.
What do these people have in common?
In two words: Emotional Intelligence. A relatively new trend in the realm of pop culture and psychology today, Emotional Intelligence — or EQ — has existed since the beginning of time. According to Psychology Today, the preeminent site for mental health education and information, Emotional Intelligence is defined as an aptitude for identifying and managing emotions, and the emotions of others. It consists of three primary skills: the ability to analyze interior emotions and the feelings of those around them, the capacity to apply emotions to tasks, and the facility to take control of emotions — whether it’s managing their own before they veer out of control, or having the strength and capability to make another person smile, settle down, or handle a situation appropriately.
Those with high Emotional “IQs” have been proven to enjoy more prosperity in life. Whether they’re in a social or professional environment, they thrive. Studies demonstrate they have fewer mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Their personal lives aren’t train wrecks, precisely because they’re lived from the point of thoughtful — and meaningful — decisions. They outperform others, excel at their jobs, are happy in their relationships, and consistently work towards attaining positive results in all aspects of life. So, the question is, what don’t they do?
Here are 7 things emotionally intelligent people, as a rule, avoid:

1. They don’t get caught up in other people’s drama.

One of the hallmarks of Emotional Intelligence is empathy, and those with high EQs extend it to everyone they cross. But there’s an enormous difference between displaying empathy towards a friend or loved one and allowing another person’s rage or misery to incense, dominate, or merely influence one’s well-being. Think of the histrionic behavior of your co-worker who is “distraught” not because she’s going through a break-up but because her friend is. Or that cousin of yours who, instead of focusing on her individual personal crises, purposefully seeks out people who are distressed so that her problems disappear via distraction — a habit so ingrained she can’t seem to address her the complications in her own life.
Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, listen carefully, provide gentle, loving, but authoritative advice, and offer assistance. But they don’t permit others’ lives and reactions to rule their own.

2. They don’t complain.

Whining and grumbling implies two things — one, that we are victims, and two, there are no solutions to our problems. Rarely does an emotionally intelligent person feel victimized, and even more infrequently does an emotionally intelligent person feel that a solution is beyond their grasp. Instead of looking for someone or something to blame, they immediately think of how to constructively address the dilemma. They also know that their complaints influence the emotional responses of those around them, and instead search for ways to bemoan the dissolution of a relationship or a disappointment with a friend in private, effective ways — whether it’s taking a yoga class, meditating alone at a park, or simply getting their feelings out on the page.

3. They don’t always say yes — to others and themselves.

Like empathy, self-control and conviction are sure signs of an emotionally solid person. Emotionally intelligent people are well-aware that a second glass of wine will lead to negative consequences the next morning, just as they know that an invitation to go on a spontaneous weekend rendezvous will detract them from fulfilling their preexisting commitments. They are definitive about their decisions, rather than saying “I don’t know, maybe?” or “Perhaps I’ll skip the gym today,” which invites doubt — and with that, heightened anxiety, even depression.
The more often emotionally intelligent people exercise their right to say no, and the more frequently they rely on their willpower, the freer they are to concentrate on their ambitions and overall well-being.

4. They don’t gossip.

Emotionally acute people sidestep gossip as determinedly as they skirt drama. To involve themselves in scandalous talk, they know, is to shame another for a supposed error — and an emotionally intelligent person understands that all humans are equally deserving, and that what others might perceive as a mistake is an opportunity for improvement.

5. They don’t count on others for happiness or confidence.

Emotionally intelligent people are self-sufficient in all manners of life, including their contentment and peace of mind. They have learned that to bank on someone else making them feel joyful or worthy is to put themselves at risk for disappointment and hopelessness. Rather, they take their emotions in their own hands and find hobbies that delight them, strive for achievements that will lead to a sense of self-worth, and search within for love and acceptance.

6. They don’t engage in negative self-talk.

While few of us are entirely immune to thinking (or saying) pessimistic statements that begin with “I” (“I’m unattractive,” “I should have done better,” “I’m pathetic”), emotionally intelligent have the ability to curb cynical thoughts before they fall down the proverbial rabbit hole. Instead, they rely on facts to come to conclusions. For some, it’s a mere glance at their experience and accomplishments outlined on their CVs; for others, it’s the appearance of a clean and organized house, or an internal analysis of what they’ve done right.
After all, emotionally intelligent people acknowledge that negative thoughts are just that — thoughts — just as they recognize that the derogatory interior voices they hear are theirs to turn down, tune out, or silence completely.

7. They don’t dwell on the past.

People who exist more in their past than in their present are susceptible to a barrage of mental and spiritual grievances, from regret and nostalgia to agitation and trepidation. Emotionally intelligent people honor their pasts — the people they have loved, the mistakes they have made, the opportunities they’ve eschewed — but are mindful of the importance of living squarely in the here and now.
By learning from the past (instead of dwelling on it), the emotionally intelligent have the power to inform their present — without diminishing their ability to advance or harness three of the most vital emotions of all: Self-satisfaction, gratitude, and hope.
Featured photo credit: Youmacon People/carianoff via flickr.com